|Original photo by: GC Photography|
Are you waiting for me, like I am for you? My motherly body senses you. It throbs to bear you, feel your kicks until finally your silky-smooth body is placed against mine. For you to drink of my milk and for me to stroke your face.
Each month I feel my body anticipating your arrival, it’s getting close. I feel as if it is getting ready to nurture you as you develop. Grow to full health. The Lord is good and my soul knows He has one more for us, no more losses I feel him whisper. Only life.
I am waiting, are you?
I have heard it said that you just know when you are done having kids. When you birth that last baby, you are at peace. My spirit is not at peace just yet. There’s this longing and aching inside of me I can not describe. The best way if I was to try, is when your adoption finally goes through and at any moment your child is going to be gently placed in your hands, forever. They are there, just behind that closed door as you sit in joy, excitement for it to be opened.
As I lay here and type, I close my eyes and my heart pumps and my breathing deepens, I know you are waiting, just as I am.
My body hates being pregnant, but I do not care. Every day spent with our baby growing will be treasured this one last occasion when it is time.
I know you are out there, I am waiting.