My hubby and I will be celebrating our 6th anniversary this coming Friday! The past 6 years have been fast and a blur most days. We welcomed our first child 9 months after our wedding day. No, I wasn’t pregnant before we got married only a few days after, hello wedding night baby! Our decision to allow God to open and close my womb brought us 3 babies in 5 years. That being said, our marriage has been something that has been on the back burner ever since, until this year.
We were both non-Christians when we first started dating and our views on what a relationship should look like was very much tainted. Because of that we brought into our marriage; a lot of baggage including one partner that was unfaithful, it has been hard to fully enjoy our marriage that God intended for us. Although I chose to forgive him as Jesus taught me, that Jon’s sins were no greater than my own and that is exactly why He went to the cross, to pay for ALL of his and my own sins, past, present and future, I still have my days of insecurity and distrust. About two months ago it got to the point in our marriage that I said, well maybe I yelled, “Something needs to change or I don’t know where we are going to be in a year from now.”
Recently we attended a 5 week marriage course through our church. We really should have done premarital counseling before we got married but moving forward I am so glad that we had this opportunity to meet with fellow married couples and get a fresh start in a way. We are actually sad that it is over. We had a really great group of couples that were really open and honest and it really does change the way the course goes when you get that dynamic.
The first week was about starting over and introducing the 5 principles that the writers Craig & Amy Groeschel based their book, “From This Day Forward” on. Through out this week I’ll be sharing with you each of these principles and how it has shaped and improved our marriage just in a short time.
Week One: Seek God
“Our first priority in life is not seeking a spouse ……it is seeking God.”
In our culture today the pressure to seek a spouse is rampant, along with many other things that take the first place in our lives from work, to family and even entertainment.We believe that if only we had this one more thing then we will be happy. Many young people and I’m going to pick on the christian culture here, sorry guys, are in too much of a rush to find a husband (with some exceptions of course). They are trying to seek a spouse rather than God. It is a false idea that when we find a spouse everything will start to work out better. If we change our mind set and seek God and let Him be The One while we prepare for the two our marriage will start on the right solid foundation. When trouble times come we won’t put the pressure on our spouse to “fix” the problem instead we will come together and seek God and allow Him the pressure or burden of getting us through those times.
“Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.” Psalm 55:22 ESV
If we want to have a Godly marriage then we/you need to be living your life TODAY like that.
For those of us that are already married a great place to start fresh would be to make a commitment together that you will always be seeking God with each other. This is the area in which my hubby and I royally suck! Because I came to the Lord before my husband it is easy or should I say my default to seek God on my own. Praying together has always been awkward for us. Jon had some insecurities and same with me. Our homework through out the entire 5 weeks was to pray together every day. It did not have to be a certain time a day and could even be over text message or phone was acceptable as some times that is the only time we do have. We decided to come together in prayer before bed. What a difference I noticed! We were more loving and understanding toward each other through out the week. I also felt more connected to him each day knowing that he would either be praying for me or I for him. It also gave me a sense that we are on the same team. Both wanting our children to grow up strong in love and faith and to one day call Jesus their savior. Our vision was made more clear at what we are wanting to accomplish as husband and wife for each other and for our family.
In the book Craig gave some key points on how to help you get into praying together and the benefits of doing so:
-It can be short and focused.
-It should be natural.
-It should not be a formula.
-It can be anywhere.
-It can be at anytime.
-It can be a specific time.
-It grows our humility
-It builds unity
Some ways that you can both be seeking God together other than prayer is, doing ministry together, holding each other accountable for certain areas or finding someone outside of the marriage to hold each other accountable for other things (which I’ll be sharing later on in the week), and
worshiping together whether that be at church or at home.
When we move God to the first place and make him The One we get things in the right order. One of the men of our group had such a great vision on the first day he said, “It’s like we are declaring and sticking a stake in the ground and committing to each other, from this day forward we will seek God first and together.”
Such a great vision! I want to encourage all those that feel like they are in a rough spot today in their marriage that God can bring you back together again! Make a commitment together today and say “From this day forward we will _________” (insert your own commitment or use what I have written) and seek help from friends you trust or your church and start praying together! Prayer is so so so powerful and I would love to pray for you as well if you are comfortable sharing, I never ask for details because God knows and I don’t need to. Connect with me on Facebook here, I would love to pray for you.
Tomorrow I’ll share with you how we learned to “Fight Fair.”